Thursday, October 30, 2008

Blah mood...ever have those?

I want to be real. I can't just post all that I've learned and what I am doing well. So, here's what I've been praying over for discontentment. Here's what I'm struggling with lately: I am a small town girl (it's actually more like medium town girl) living in a big city. Why am I discontent so much? Well, I want my small town life back. I've dealt with the fact that my home town may not be God's plan for our family (although, I still hope it might be one day). I've learned so much through the last several years as we have moved to one place to the next. I know that God's picture is a beautiful mystery waiting to be painted before me. And I want to please my Father and live according to His plans. But often times I choose to want things my way. I begin feeling this blah, yukky feeling when I begin longing for something else. That feeling doesn't come often because I pray that the Lord will give me joy in all circumstances. And He is so faithful to do His part. It's my part that struggles sometimes. I've even started negotiations with the Lord about working out some way that my family could have a bigger home with some land and a privacy fence in the backyard. It doesn't have to be in Georgia. It can be still be in Central Florida. I want my kids to be able to play outside...safely. And I would love to have friends and family over for dinner and have elbow room. Wow, I tell you, it's just been one of those weeks. I do trust that the Lord has the better plan. I just forget to live like I really believe it. The only way to fix it is to truly have His desires as my desires. Jesus pull me out of this emotional sinkhole and raise me to my feet to fix my eyes on you.

Psalms 37:4-5 "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass".

Psalms 27:8 When You said, "Seek My face," My heart said to You, "Your face, LORD, I will seek."

Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

Mark 14:42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me. Yet not my will but yours be done.”

Jesus, please make your Word Alive in my heart today! Let me accept it, live it, breathe it, and not forget it.




Cassie - Homeschooling Four said...

I definitely have those moods occasionally. Mine are usually more about Cory's job. I envy wives who have a husband home on time everyday and who can take vacation whenever they feel like, etc...

Valarie Daly said...

I confess, I get the BLAHS too! It just hit me not to long ago that I have now lived 1/2 my life in Pennsylvania and the other 1/2 in Florida. I never thought when I made that move 23 years ago to Fla. that I would still be here 23 years later. Now after being in the mountains, I so desperately want to live somewhere that I can experience the change of seasons again. I do miss the fall especially!! So my prayer is that one of these days GOD calls us to a place where I can be away from a big city and rest in HIS creation.

Dearest Jessica said...

It's such a struggle when our plans don't really come to action.

Thanks for being real and sharing that!