Thursday, September 25, 2008


Have you ever felt like you have worked so hard to only feel continually defeated? I have. And I've gotten down right mad about it. Just a little over a week ago I was DONE! I was tired of the work. I broke down, cried, and beat my pillow for a little while. But, it didn't last long. Jarrett was with me, he even did a great job of having sympathy for me. He was so sweet. He wanted me to feel better. But, even through the self pity, God shook me. He said, "that's enough!" I felt Him telling me that it's never time to give up. All the work I had been doing was not for ME. It was not to achieve the goal of feeling better. In fact, the Lord spoke to me and told me that I may always struggle with my physical pain. He may have me endure this pain forever. And guess what...I'm supposed to Praise the Lord for it! I didn't understand at first, but, the more I praise Him in the storm (good song by the way), the more I fall in love with Jesus! Yep! It's been quite the journey these last few weeks. I know that my goal is to serve the Lord always. I thank Him for His incredible power and ability to heal. But I also must thank him for his discernment in choosing to heal or NOT to heal. That's right. He knows more than me. And I want my ultimate goal be to love and praise the Lord for His Majesty no matter how I "feel!" It hasn't been easy. And Satan will take advantage when I am weak to fight and make me believe that I should just give up. But my strength is in the Lord. I'm asking the Lord daily to help me have the endurance and strength to make it through every storm.

So whatever your storm is, children, marriage, physical pain, sickness, etc....know that He has got a plan. The fire we walk through is only to strengthen us. He may choose to save us from the fire, stand in the fire, or even die in the fire. It is all for his Glory! I don't always like it. But today is a good day and I praise Him for it!