Friday, September 5, 2008

Pray for me.

I suffer from Anxiety/Stress attacks. For the past few weeks, they have increased. It's not debilitating but I suffer greatly from them. For the most part, my body takes a toll on the inside. I feel a rapid, hard heartbeat...can't seem to take a deep breath...and I have a dull pain in my chest. It can last all day. Fortunately, I can hide it from most people. I like to pretend that everything is okay. When I'm not trying to hide it, I'm trying to control it. The control part normally doesn't work. I decided that I HATE it and I want it gone!!!

I have taken this to the Father on so many occasions. But, this time, instead of just asking for healing, I have decided to give it to Jesus for Him to take control. I want Jesus to take control of my life. I believe my attacks are brought on by my desire to control. When I lose that control, my health reacts. So many times I have prayed for Him to "Order my Steps, take control, etc." But, I honestly feel that looking back...I never gave it to Him. My priorities are not in the right place. Please pray that I will release FULL control to the FATHER. That these will not just be words, but my life.

Also, I have self-diagnosed for long enough. In the next few days, I will be seeking professional counsel, along with taking up my cross daily and following Him. Please pray. I hurt.




Jared, Jen and Andon said...

Oh sweet friend. I am hurting and praying for you now. And so proud of you for recognizing the need to give it ALL to Him. The counseling is a wonderful idea!

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I've been there..and am still there alot w/control and perfectionism. I LOVE counseling! I never knew the lies that I believed until I started. I'm very proud of you for taking this first step....can't wait to hear about the healing that comes!

Cassie - Homeschooling Four said...

I'll be praying for you this week.

Lisa said...

My heart goes out to you. I had severe panic attacks probably 10+ yrs. ago. I thought I was loosing my mind and I was going to die. I held on to Jesus like I have never held on. I wrote scripture on index cards and kept them in my purse to pull out and read. I prayed constantly.

They were triggered by my fathers sudden death and the subsequent diagnosis of my mother with Alzheimers. And I had 3 young children.

I sought counseling and did eventually take medication. But, it was God that saw me through it all.

Keep fighting even when you feel that you can't. Pray even when you feel that you can not think of what to say. Lean on your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Lisa Q